Your Guide to Practising Independent Learning

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the tutorial of Introduction to University Learning. Unfortunately, there are no actual classrooms for this session and you don't need to know my name.

What?

Funny you should ask. They said you are external students and there's not enough space for you in the university and also you're rich enough and don't care enough to attend classes. So, I welcome all of you again to Introduction to University Learning and I hope you would enjoy this one time only tutorial speech - if you bother reading and if Desperate Housewives is not showing on TV.

Today, I would like to briefly address the Guide to Practising Independent Reading. I hope all of you have read Marshall's Learning Companion. If you haven't, oh well... don't worry about it. No one would know anyway. But you could check out the WebCT for more information. There's a video that came with your package. Alternatively, you could download it from the web. I apologise that we don't move much on the video because the camera is stationary and also it's a bit monotonous. But you could always have chips, chilli sauce and sour cream while watching the video. Also, you can forward or just slide the bar on your Windows Media Player if you think we're boring the crap out of you.

What?

I'm sorry. You need Internet connection for this class. Legs are not required.

Where was I? Oh yes. Guide to Practising Independent Learning. The first point you should note on your Notepad is...

I'm sorry, what?

Oh. Just press Start on the lower left of your screen and then press on the "All Programs" button and then click on "Accessories" and then click on Notepad.

I'm sorry. Yes, the first point you should note is that Independent Learning does not require you to attend those drafty and, occasionally musky, classrooms anymore. Taken to the logical conclusion to the word "independent", you obviously don't need a tutor either. Independent learning requires you to read the 146 pages of Study Guide, 212 pages of Reader, 344 pages of that fabulous Learning Companion, and also another 293 pages of A Guide to Learning Independently. I know, I know. It's a lot of reading for 1st years but you'll get used to it. And yes, the last book sounds very much like the Learning Companion but you can always email your complaints to the coordinator. I'm not sure when she will reply but no harm trying love.

What?

Oh dear. Please refer that question to the FAQ section in WebCT. Tutors are not required to know any spontaneous questions that you might have due to the highly accessible and comprehensive FAQ section. If you are still unsure, you can email your queries to the coordinator of the unit. Again, please give at least two days for a reply to your answer as we get many emails a day.

The second point I would like to address in independent learning is that as external students you should realise that the word "communication" does not require face-to-face interaction. You may MSN me if you would like but...

What is it again?

Please download MSN on MSN.com and follow the instructions. The rest of it is in the "help" section of the website. If you are still unsure, ask your 12-year-old neighbour.

Er... oh yes. You may communicate with me via MSN but I am not online 24/7. That's because I have a life and it would be serendipitous when we meet online. Alternatively, you may email me. Remember - two days.

Now, communication is a funny concept. One in which you should not bother too much with. Remember that the only tools you need in communication are: home PC or laptop, keyboard, mouse, fingers, eyes, and occasionally your ears. I repeat that communication for external students do not require legs as your parents or your partner could wheel you to the computer. Also, you are not required to have any other physical properties of your body to work while on the desktop or laptop. Breathing, however, is a necessity.

One could communicate via blogs as well. This rather handy invention by computer nerds allows you to type in a post and have friends and/or strangers reply. But unfortunately, the computer master in our university has yet to finish World of Warcraft and is unable to set-up the blog function in WebCT. Please check our website for future...

Yes?

World of Warcraft is a computer game under the genre called MMORPG. Please don't ask the "what" question again because I have been sitting here for one hour and I would very much like to have a smoke soon.

And finally ladies and gentlemen - or whatever you are out there - I would just like to take your attention to the assessments of your unit. There are 5 components and all of them are outlined in detail in your study guide. Please do not email me questions pertaining to your assignment questions. My Inbox is 97% full and I can only take short messages. Again, I would refer you to the FAQ section of WebCT. Also, please be aware that you may send your assignments to me by email or fax or post. It is much more convenient than the old method of assignment boxes in university. Of course, the downside is that if your data is lost or corrupted, or if the mailperson has an epileptic fit during the course of your parcel's journey, we might require you to send it again - that's if we bother emailing you. Remember, you are adults and these are your responsibilities. Please read our legal policies in WebCT.

My dear students, it has been my utmost pleasure typing this to you. I hope you would have an enjoyable, intellectual journey in this unit. Please do not hessitate to ask any questions that you might have although we are not required to answer those questions in full.

Have a good day, or evening, or whatever.

:)

Your Tutor.