Vampiric death
It has been a long time since I visited these pages. A long time. But it is one of those days that is necessary to be cathartic.
***
I am a vampire. I lure those naive creatures to my bed and I suck them dry and then they are discarded, like empty carcasses for the dead. I am a fiend of flesh. My body needs the moisture of another's skin, the taste of another's breath, and the heat of another's eyes. They fuel me; conjure in me a life that is insatiable. I lack nothing but drive towards - and always (on)towards - a body without organs, so that I may float forever in the orgasmic force of intimacy and desire.
But today, just today, I stopped. I am limp with hunger and tearful with emptiness. A hunter now the hunted, the vampire is immobilised by its own poison. Who would have thought that one of those silly creatures of pleasure would detain me so? Who would have ever imagined that I would find pain in the food of affective sustenance? I stood there, watching him searched and touched by those distasteful guards. I stood there, unable to call or howl, speechless as he entered those plastic gates into a plane. He whispered kisses to my eyes and all I could do was smile and leave.
Smile and leave. Oxymoron of the inhuman condition. Why smile when I am bleeding all that has been fed into my body for the last week? Why leave when I could have summoned my persuasion and force against his timid will? Why? Because I have left humanity too long untouched. Loneliness and pain have too long been forbidden into my body. I have forgotten the meaning of life.
I did not choose this condition - of course. I did not choose to bleed away love and life. It... it just happened - really. Forever and away, he left me a shell to break, shatter and mould once again. He left me a broken, hollow reed of stalagmite to always remember the futility of perseverance. That stalagmite sparked luminescent and every jewel scintillated a memory, a desire, a possibility that would never be fulfilled. Its hollowness whistled a tune that would meet me at my coffin - loneliness.
Where now? What now? Who now? Nowhere. Nothing. No one. No more. I am tired. Yes... I am tired, and very hungry. It is simply the beginning of a vampiric death.
***
I am a vampire. I lure those naive creatures to my bed and I suck them dry and then they are discarded, like empty carcasses for the dead. I am a fiend of flesh. My body needs the moisture of another's skin, the taste of another's breath, and the heat of another's eyes. They fuel me; conjure in me a life that is insatiable. I lack nothing but drive towards - and always (on)towards - a body without organs, so that I may float forever in the orgasmic force of intimacy and desire.
But today, just today, I stopped. I am limp with hunger and tearful with emptiness. A hunter now the hunted, the vampire is immobilised by its own poison. Who would have thought that one of those silly creatures of pleasure would detain me so? Who would have ever imagined that I would find pain in the food of affective sustenance? I stood there, watching him searched and touched by those distasteful guards. I stood there, unable to call or howl, speechless as he entered those plastic gates into a plane. He whispered kisses to my eyes and all I could do was smile and leave.
Smile and leave. Oxymoron of the inhuman condition. Why smile when I am bleeding all that has been fed into my body for the last week? Why leave when I could have summoned my persuasion and force against his timid will? Why? Because I have left humanity too long untouched. Loneliness and pain have too long been forbidden into my body. I have forgotten the meaning of life.
I did not choose this condition - of course. I did not choose to bleed away love and life. It... it just happened - really. Forever and away, he left me a shell to break, shatter and mould once again. He left me a broken, hollow reed of stalagmite to always remember the futility of perseverance. That stalagmite sparked luminescent and every jewel scintillated a memory, a desire, a possibility that would never be fulfilled. Its hollowness whistled a tune that would meet me at my coffin - loneliness.
Where now? What now? Who now? Nowhere. Nothing. No one. No more. I am tired. Yes... I am tired, and very hungry. It is simply the beginning of a vampiric death.
posted by Insouciantfemme at 12:11 am
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